Monday, May 5, 2014

My battle with Social Media approval and my strayed walk with the Lord


Social Media and My walk with the Lord

I will be the first to admit that I have strayed from my walk with the Lord over the past year.I have many 'excused' but no good reason. There is never a good reason as we are called as Christians to WALK DAILY with the Lord, and I have not been doing this.
Why you might ask: Here are my 'excuses' and how this happened.

1. I have allowed myself to be consumed with my own career in photography, my art, and trying to achieve personal goals.

2. Through this obsession, I stopped reading my bible and instead spent my 'free time' online or at my computer editing images, promoting my career, or building up professional contacts to further my career.

3. I thought I was 'okay in my walk'. I would still pray at meal time, with my kids, and at night say a prayer as I fell asleep. But I did not take time out of my day, any special hours or times to dwell and listen to the Lords voice, instead I spent it on social media sites listening to what people would say about my work, talking to Facebook 'friends' when I should have been spending that time with my best friend, Jesus and seeking his guidance and approval in my career.


What has resulted of this?


Well at this point in my life I can say this year has been amazing, up until a few days ago. I had set out with some goals for my career, and achieved some very great things in it. I had reached all my goals, with the last having my work shown in a gallery.

My downfall? I was giving false credit. I was thanking the people that I only knew from online for my success, I was looking at my own talent and accomplishments as being my own, and not God given, I was prideful and feeling as if I had achieved these things through my many hours spent in my office, away from my family, away from my walk with the Lord, and losing sight of what was most important in my life.

A few days ago this dream was taken away from me. I will not be showing in the gallery, I lost all the so called 'best friends/family' that I had made, as I have realized they were not real. None of it was REAL. It was only online, through the internet that these connections were made, I did not know these people, not really, and I had wasted months believing that I did and investing my time, energy and heart into this, all the while believing that the Lord was blessing this and had his hand in this.

But he did not. 

How do I know? Because I did not seek HIS word, listen to his guidance, instead I listened to the people online, I listened and took the praise of those in the world of social media and let it fill my head with the notion that I had achieved these things, I was 'so talented', and that I 'deserved' these things.

I did not. 

And being a child of God, I should have seen his discipline coming. I should have kept him first, as I know and one of my favorite verses is "I can do all things through him that gives me strength". But I was not allowing him to be a part of this, in fact I don't remember me praying once for his guidance in any of this. For, I thought I had it covered, I trusted the people in 'charge' and I trusted the earthly and online 'relationships' that I had forged to advance my goals and dreams.



So where am I now in my walk with God?

I am humbled. God has allowed these false relationships to fail, he has allowed me to fail. Why would he do that when the bible says 'If God is for us then who can be against us?"
Because he loves me. And as I love my own children and discipline and teach them when they are doing something wrong, God loves me even more and does the same for his children.. I am his child and it is his purpose to guide my life and teach me lessons so I do not continue to make the same mistakes.

I am actually thankful. Yes I lost everything that I had built up for my career, yes I feel as though I am staring at the beginning again, but I also feel more hopeful and more driven than ever to rebuild and do it with the Lord.

I am online but I am not on social media. I am limiting my Facebook time to 30 minutes a day, right now actually I am off of it for a few days as a sort of 'fast' to break my 'obsession' and to take the time to seek Gods guidance in this topic and his will in my life.

Today I have been spending my time on the Women Living Well Blog in her social media section where she covers in depth many topics that I really wish I would have read sooner. But again, I have not been following Godly blogs, reading my bible, only reading and concerning myself with things online for my own gain, advancement, and career.

I have learned a great lesson, and felt I would share it in case anyone else is doing this exact same thing. I also have another post on how this has affected my family. It is hard to write about, but I will. I plan to write on how my own selfish actions, my obsession with my social media has affected my marriage as well as my children and our relationships. But Ill save that for another blog post. 

For now I ask for prayers of strength and courage for myself, Gods guidance in my life. I want to end with this quote from Courtney Jospeph on her blog that I found very insightful. (if you wish to read the women living well blog there are buttons on the side of my blog here to link to it:)

"Media is amoral – it is neither good nor bad – rather it is the use of it that determines its morality.   We must filter it through God’s word and come to our keyboards ready to glorify God with every word we read or write. '


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5 comments:

  1. Thank you Tara! A very truepost not only for you! I would love for you to share if you hae any kind of Bible study that you are doing- I keep thinking I should and then end up doing other not spiritual stuff instead. So if you need a bible study partner I am here!! ( Oh, I do have abook ( Sweet Journey by Terri Maxwell) http://www.titus2.com/sweet-journey.html?utm_source=144&utm_medium=231&utm_campaign=341 Maybe I should just start reading it! I would love to talk it over with someone though :)
    Thanks for being as inspiring as always!

    Dagmar

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    1. Yes I do actually, yesterday before I decided to write this I was reading on the women living well blog and www.thebettermom.com anyways on the women living well, which you can find the button on the left up there of my blog ;) she has her new book and has posts on each chapter, a forum for discussion, ext. and its super cheap on amazon, i think I paid like 10 bucks. Ive wanted it for a long time, but never had such a desire to go through it and such. there is also on her blog free downloadable material for group bible studies using the book, with discussions, and such so if you want to get that book we can skype and do the group study together maybe? and anyone else that wants to join!

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    2. OH, yes, lets DO that!
      SHould we set a date!?

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  2. This is so true. Sometimes we seek the things that don't really mean anything... meaningless pursuits that seem so important.

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  3. Tara, I went through this same thing a couple of years ago. Thank you for sharing your struggle, I pray that it will bless others. Thank you so much for sharing at the Growing in Grace Link Up!

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