Thursday, August 9, 2012

Teaching our Kids to break the Silence: My personal Campaign

So a few months ago I found this site called People of the Second Chance. Its a christian ministry focused on radical grace and forgiveness, and telling your story to get past traumatic events in life and move on, growing and getting past the labels and abuse of your past. Love this site! They have recently called on a campaign of handmade projects, to fit into a journal. This is where the story gets thick.

2 years ago my daughter was left in a room with her older stepbrother for possibly 5 total minutes. He is 8. During that time he managed to get his pants down and was talking to her about what they were going to do all the while trying to get her dress off. He told her it was a bad game, and not to tell her mom. THANK JESUS I walked in right then, when I did and he did not actually get to touch her. BUT, she has a story, one she speaks about  often, and so much that I take her to MY sexual abuse counselor just to help learn what is 'right touches' and 'wrong touches'.

She did come to me and tell me even though he told her not to. Why did she do that at 3 years old? Shouldn't she have listened to him, or at least you would think she would anyways. No, not my brave little girl. She told her mommy, and I'd like to think it is because I started at a young age telling her the ugly truth about the world. No I didn't say it like I would to an adult but I told her "someone might try to hurt you, touch your private places, and tell you not to tell, but you always always tell your mommy no matter what they say because they are lying, THEY will be the ones in trouble, not you." SO, this is her story, and she knows she is brave for telling me. In my mind it takes alot for a 4 year old to go against her 8 year old brother and tell a story that he told her would get her in trouble.

I wish I was as brave as she is when I was a child. I would not have lived my many years in abuse as I did. (but you can read that in my testimony, or on a different post) this is about my daughter.

My BRAVE, AWESOME, BEAUTIFUL daughter! And here is the first picture in the campaign of photographs that I hope to be blessed to help others with.

P.s. She is 100% involved in this project, of course she only knows 'kid appropriate' things about it, but she does love this sign, had me read it to her many many times, and now it hangs in her room. She KNOWS she was brave and KNOWS she did the right thing, so for all those that would say it is wrong of me to take this picture and post it, shame on YOU for wanting to silence a voice, no matter how small we can all have our stories and we ALL deserve to be proud of being brave enough to share them.

Pss. To all of those that want to say "what about the kid, he was just a boy" we DID get him the SAME councilling that we got my daughter, to the point that we could. We do not have custody of him and his mother chose to brush it off as just something all kids do. We did call the police and dcfs and there was an investigation into if he had been abused. Long story short, some other kid had taught him that "game" and told him the same things "not to tell" its a "bad game" and all that stuff that kids are told by adults that chose to take advantage of them. I just wanted to add this because of the many people saying shame on me for telling HER story, because it might affect HIM. If he wants to tell HIS story, then fine, but I am not his mother and that is up to her to help him with and talk to him about, it is not my place, nor would it be appropriate.



  1. She is an awesome little lady. Good job Mom for teaching her right! When my little lady was 3 years old I started reading "Those are My Private Parts" - it's a book told in rhyme and it has illustrations made my a kid about the same age... and it basically teaches kids to stand up for themselves and not be afraid to say NO - those are MY private parts and I will not play that game.

    Good post Tara!

  2. Thank God she was brave and nothing happened. Unfortunately this is much too common. There was a lot of inappropriate touching by family members when I was growing up. One cousin was completely traumatized by her older cousin accosting her when she walked into her bedroom straight out of the shower wrapped in a towel. Yes, let's teach our children to have voices and listen when they talk. I've seen too many adults pretend and sweep things aside because they don't know how to deal with it properly. It makes them uncomfortable or embarassed. I fear for my own 5 yr old daughter who goes to a co-ed sand warchool. I talk to her about inappropriate touching and warn her about going to the bathroom alone...sadly you have to be wary of the girls as well as the boys these days :(

    Great post Tara