Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Blessings of Godsippers

I was invited to join this group on facebook, and was told it was a weekly bible study group. Okay cool, I joined and quickly was invited to attend. I have lived in this town for 2 years and never been invited to church, let alone a bible study, and I was super excited! I went the first time and was doing a fundraiser for little bri, who is fighting stage 4 cancer. Now most of the women I had talked to only online, but all of them were SO kind to me, I felt like I had known them for years!
As the weeks go by it just so happens in our search for a new home church that the Lord had a member, and friend of mine give me the first invite to a church we had ever had in this town. We went to it last week and it was nice. We really liked it. This was a clear answer to prayer as I had prayed to God these exact words, "You know we want to find a church close to home, please send me a PERSON to invite me personally where you want us to go", and withing 2 days I had the info for this church under a stone on my front porch. First Blessing.
Fastforward to this week. Our house we have been living in for over a year is being sold. If you know me, you know I deal with extreme anxiety and post tramatic stress syndrome from the abuse I endured as a child. I hate it, but it is something that I have to daily try to manage. I can not put into words, to make someone that does not feel the same way I do understand the way I feel about people I don't know coming in my house, walking around, opening closets, and talking about how my HOME is where they are going to live. The first time just instantly sent me nearly into a panic attack. I knew we had to leave. Once again I prayed. I texted my bible study group ladies and my friend Bev said she knew a few house for rent. So we drove by one and it looked very nice, and BIG! We are pretty well on top of each other in the trailer we are in right now. I asked my friend for the contact info, and even though we figured this house was well above any price range we could afford, we called and got a very kind older gentlemen who said we could come over right then. Long story short, we instantly fell in love. I was dreaming of the indoor photography studio and even where all my furniture would go! The best part? That house was only $25 more then we were paying in rent at the trailer; that is just unbelievable! It had never been rented before, as the older womens parents lived in it, and they passed and they really didnt want to just rent to anyone. It wasn't even being advertised so the fact that Bev knew about it to begin with was a blessing!
We get to the end of the "tour" and my husband in like nodding to me about a most deffinate YES he loves the house lol.So of course here was the kicker. The man says, "We really like you kids and we would rent it right now to you but I already promised the people across the street that the aunt could look at it first and she cant for a few days". So he took our number and we had to wait. Talk about a LONGGGGG 2 days!
In the meantime my good friend Jenny, and for all intents and purposes my landlord here at the trailer, called and told them what good people we were (thank you jenny that means alot to me) and how we actually do pay our rent :) We still had to wait, and pray because in the meantime my friend Carol (now all these ladies are in this one bible study group mind you) emails me a full list of landlords in our town. I sat down and called every single one of them on tuesday night and they were all full or only had 1 bedrooms available. I was discouraged and decided to go to bed.
I was reading my nook and heard the phone ring. We got the house! Praise Jesus! Once again he made a way when there was no other way! He opened a door that wasn't even able to be opened just for us, and all through the use of these ladies!
On top of the physical blessings, I cannot tell you how good it feels to be able to actually FEEL the prayers when I post about needing some in our facebook group. I can't explain the encouragment I get just from one hour with other women of like faith, once a week. (most times I do have to leave early because Im lucky to get out of the house in the first place :) I have just been so touched by the kindness, the friendships, and the blessings that God has allowed me to have though this group of women!
I want all you Godsipper ladies to know that you ROCK, I love you and thank you for everything you do from the private messages, to phone calls, to helping us out, everything, you all mean alot and I look forward to our little group growing so big that we have to find another place to meet at!


  1. Tara, I stumbled upon your blog today from and I just had to post a comment. Not about your Godsippers group although I note how wonderful it must be for you to have such a group to fellowship with, but because I have read several posts on your blog, including both of your personal testimony pages and, even though you don't know me, I feel very much connected to you. I too am Apostolic, I was raised in church, but backslid as a young adult, and I too was sexually abused but not as a child. I was married (am still am to my very precious and forgiving husband) when his brother-in-law starting molesting and raping me on a regular basis. Now I know you are thinking I could have prevented this since I was an adult but truly, I felt much the same as you. I couldn't believe what had just happened and there was no way I could tell my husband. He either wouldn't believe me or would divorce me and I was scared. It wasn't until more than a year passed that I became pregnant by my brother-in-law that I found the nerve to tell my husband and even offered for him to divorce me. However, he didn't want a divorce. We told his sister about everything and though I was believed, and my brother-in-law was questioned and admitted to it, their answer was to just keep everything under wraps and not tell a soul. We would continue on in life as it was and no body would get hurt. So they said. But I was hurt and what's more, since he had gotten away with it then, he continued to stalk, harass and molest me every chance he got. At one point I even began to believe that he "loved" me and I somehow came to "love" him. This abuse went on for 12 years, I became addicted to prescription drugs and was on my way to becoming an alcoholic when I got pregnant with his second baby (AJ was conceived in the park bathroom, on a dirty floor, with my head next to a filthy toilet. How romantic, huh. By that time my marriage truly was on the rocks and I even "hated" my husband for not stopping this guy in the first place, and that's when I turned back to the Lord for help. I knew from the teachings of my childhood that God was my help and my salvation. At one point my husband said, what can we do to save this marriage and I told him, only God can save this and that's when we started going to church. That was six years ago. Since then not only have I been refilled with the Holy Ghost but my husband and my daughter have been filled with the Holy Ghost, too. AJ, my six year old son, has not been filled yet, but God is working on that. After being filled again with the Holy Ghost, I have not allowed that man to touch me again. God gave me the power to fight back and to say no and he also gave me the courage to bring everything out in the open again. I told anyone and everyone I could find to tell about it even to the embarrassment of my hushand, but truly telling everything was liberating to both of us. There were no more secrets or hidden sins and from that point on our marriage began to heal. I have had a lot of "mind" battles to fight and I've even had to forgive my brother-in-law, which was probably the hardest battle ever, but it's all over now. What's more, is I am looking forward to God saving him. God promised me that in prayer one day and I am holding him to it! What greater joy would it be to see the man that abused me, hands raised, speaking in tongues and forgiven not only by me, but by God. I can't wait! Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, you are not alone and I am thankful for you that you found Jesus and you are now on your way to an incredible, happy life. God bless!

    1. Now THAT is a testimony to the power of grace, mercy, and also holy matrimony! I would LOVE if you would like to "guest appear" on my blog with this same testimony but also how God blessed and kept your marriage even though you had to endure ALL of this! Praise the Lord! My personal email is if you would like to get ahold of me might be easier that way lol