Sunday, March 20, 2011

He Saw the Best in Me

He saw the best in me when everyone else around only saw the worst, even myself. I am so thankful for Gods love, mercy and above all his grace. For we are all saved by Grace. When I was in the darkness, struggling for air, for life, he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up with his love.
Yesterday I shared a part of my life that I don't like to remember that often. But it is only by remembering my past, that I will always be thankful for where God has brought me.
I used to carry so much guilt, pain, hurt,  anger, frustration, and resentment around in my heart. That makes for a very heavy,  burden laiden heart. It gets hard to carry that around for years. It is dragging on your body, emotions, and spirit. I thought many times about what it would be like to end all my pain, take away all the hurt,  and live like a "normal" person. I tried every anti-depressant and street drug I could find to make it all better. Nothing changed the fact that I was a broken person inside. I tried to wear the best clothes and makeup, making myself appear so whole and together on the outside, all the while my inner being was screaming out for help. I carried myself like I had it all together, like my life was perfect with no cares or worries. Still the same, God knew my heart was a shattered, torn, empty vessel. I tried to fullfil my hunger with worldly love, affection, and adoration, never stopping to acknowledge the one person that had never left my side. When Jesus brought me out of my darkness, believe me when I tell you it was not a single MOMENT too soon, or late. It was his perfect timing.
As unpleasant as it is to remember the story I just shared with you yesterday, it is a MUST in my life. I know I need to always think of the "old me", the empty person that Jesus picked up out of the ashes of life and made new. He has restored my soul. Breathed life into the dead shell that was my body and soul. When I picked up his cross, prepared to carry it, he in turn picked up my entire LIFE and carried it for me. He relieved all the hurt and pain from my abuse. Took away the anger, resentment, and depression. I never needed another pill, not even one more drink of alcohol, or any kind of drug. I have never felt so alive and whole as when Jesus found me. The one regret I have is that I didn't give it all to him sooner. I am now a trophy as his Grace, a walking testimony of his power and love. The best I can give him now is to live my life holy and acceptable to him, because he continues to bless me I am forever in awe of him still. I will forever worship, love and adore Jesus Christ my personal savior. Thank you for redeeming me and giving me life!

1 comments:

  1. It's so cool that you posted about God's grace. We've been talking about it a lot in my church with sermons from our new, young pastor. We are saved by God's grace ALONE through faith ALONE in Christ ALONE. Nothing else truly matters. :)

    **Chrissy Arvin

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